10 Shakespearean Insults That Make Throwing Celeb Shade Sound Poetic
The Immortal Bard doesn't put up with celeb bullshit.
All the world's a stage,
And all these men and women merely showboats;
They have their fifteen minutes and their falls from grace
And one man in his time plays many parts (*cough,* Ryan Seacrest, *cough*),
Their acts being shameless marketing ploys.
At first, I, the Immortal Bard, laughed at the comedy
But now, e'er more ~over it,~
I throw'st shade at their shallow tragedies.
xoxo
Billy Shakes
To thou yellow-bellied fool who runneth thine mouth and squander thine pittance on yon big-arsed strumpet:
To thou undone princess of the Kardashian Kingdom: thine unhandsome and Botox-plumped pillows besmirch thine visage!
To thou Jester of Pop: Thine tomfoolery and criminal records suggesteth thine head is agape.
To thou counterfeit doctor full of quackery and bluster:
To thou faux maiden whose ivory skin hides an ebony heart:
To thou Gollum of gossip:
To thou empty shell of a harlot, who servest as the inspiration for mine wide array of strumpets and concubines:
To mine old friend, Ben, a word of advice and gentle consolation:
To the dolt Tucker Max, who hath published dog poo in the name of "humor":
To thou handsome but drunken giglet:
