Kristen Wiig Is Here To Tell You Exactly What Happens To You When Drinking
As explained by Kristen Wiig GIFs and the science of Stephen Braun, author of Buzz: The Science and Lore of Alcohol and Caffeine.
So you start drinking. And as you go, the ethanol in that bottle of white enters your bloodstream fairly quickly.
“In the first half an hour or so of drinking, you’re going to experience stimulating effects and euphoria. Alcohol reduces your inhibitions and will release a little dopamine – the brain’s big reward molecule – so you’re going to feel good,” Braun explains.
And then you start to feel pretty good.
Maybe even good enough to paaaaaarty (and spot a colonial woman churning butter).
The rate at which you get drunk depends on a number of factors that affect how quickly your liver can break down the alcohol like the amount of food in your stomach, the alcohol content of your beverage, other drugs you may have taken, and how much you're drinking in a given time period.
But after chugging that last martini, you start to get a bit clumsy.
This is when alcohol's depressive effects begin to set in. Alcohol increases the effects of the inhibitory transmitter Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid in your brain which dampens your responses and leads to stumbling, drink spilling, and slurred speech.
Then, you break the seal. And you can't stop peeing.
This is because your body is desperately trying to get the alcohol out of your system, since it treats it as a poison. Alcohol blocks the antidiuretic vasopressin, which usually keeps your kidneys in check. But when it's suppressed, your kidneys don't reabsorb the liquid and instead keep expelling it.
And after a few more drinks, it seems like a really good idea to have sex with Jon Hamm.
And while alcohol often increases your sex drive, it can also significantly decrease your sexual responsiveness (whiskey dick, anyone?), this includes the ability to get and keep an erection, natural lubrication, and the ease of achieving orgasm.
Note: another byproduct here is the dreaded hungover walk of shame the next morning.
When your liver breaks down the alcohol you drink, it produces an enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase which converts the alcohol into acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde is thought to be a key factor in your nasty hangover the next morning.
