Guacamole Or Guys? 11 Pieces Of Wisdom That Will Convince You To Choose Guac Every Time

by N/A, 10 years ago | 1 min read

Move over boys, guacamole is where it's at.

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1. It's consistently good.

Guacamole never treats you like shit. There's never emotional highs and lows either - it's always just pretty damn good.

2. It's always fresh.

Relationships get stale. Boys are predictable. When that honeymoon phase is over, things are bleak. But with guac, things are always guaranteed to be fresh.

3. Guac can be spicy.

Sure, there's mild kinds too, but when it's spicy you feel it from HEAD TO TOE. So um, what do you need a boy for, ya know?

4. Guacamole is cheap AF.

What, it costs like only 50 cents extra? A dollar? Either way, it's cheaper than the emotional baggage you have to pay for when you date a boy.

5. It's beautiful on the outside and inside.

Avocados are beautiful! And, when you get the pleasure of getting to their core, they have incredible substance... unlike the majority of the male population.

6. Guac smells AH-mazing.

Like, better than any cologne out there.

7. Guac is the best "Netflix and chill" companion because all it wants is to be eaten on your own terms.

8. It's mushy gushy but not CHEESY.

It's soft on your soul without being over the top.

9. It's actually good for your heart.

It's full of heart healthy vitamins and nutrients. And the heart wants what it wants.

10. Good, quality guac is easier to find than the majority of good, quality guys.

And guac will never let ya down!

11. Guac fills your heart with happiness and love while boys fill your heart with pain and sadness.

So F*CK YES TO GUAC... always.